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You want a sexually-exclusive relationship; your boyfriend doesn't want a sexually-exclusive relationship—so you two aren't sexually compatible, BIGSIN, and you should break up.
Slightly longer answer: Your boyfriend did the right thing by laying his kink cards on the table early in the relationship—he's into threesomes, group sex, and public sex—and you copped to having fantasies about threesomes, BIGSIN, but not a desire to experience one.
All those emotions that relate to an overactive amygdala—fear, remorse, guilt, regret, empathy—psychopaths don't feel them." So your boyfriend's not a psychopath. The urge to be sweet to them, to take care of them, to do for them?
Maybe he's just going through the motions with you—a conscious mimic-it-till-you-make it strategy—or maybe the double whammy of a damaged dad and that toxic masculinity stuff sloshing around out there left him blocked, LOVE, or emotionally constipated.
I'm a 33-year-old woman from Melbourne, Australia, dating a 24-year-old man.
This does turn me on and I like thinking about it when we are messing around. I'm like a mashup of Jessica Day, Leslie Knope, and Liz Lemon if that gives you an idea of how not-for-me this all is.Tell him no more dirty talking about this shit during sex, no more entertaining the idea at all.Being with you means giving up this fantasy, BIGSIN, and if he's not willing to give it up—and to shut up about it—then you'll have to break up.He responded that he cares for me a lot—but that's it. I don't want kids, so time isn't critical for me, but I don't want to be with someone who won't ever love me. "The fear with someone who doesn't 'feel' is that they may be a psychopath or a sociopath, terms that are used interchangeably," said Jon Ronson, author of The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry. My hunch is that your boyfriend's problem isn't an inability to feel love, LOVE, but an inability to recognize the feelings he's having as love.Lacking One Vaunted Emotion You didn't use the P-word (psychopath) or the S-word (sociopath), LOVE, but both came to mind as I was reading your letter. "And lots of the items on the psychopath checklist relate to an inability to experience deep emotions—like Shallow Affect, Lack of Empathy and Lack of Remorse. This line: 'The only emotions he feels are fear and anxiousness that he'll disappoint the people he cares about' is the critical one. In fact, my favorite thing a psychologist said to me about this was: 'If you're worried you may be psychopath, that means you aren't one.' Also, psychopaths don't care about disappointing loved ones! (Or potentially love, as it's only been eight months.) What is romantic love but a strong desire to be with someone?